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God Still Parts Red Seas: The Story of Finding My Psychiatric Service Dog

"For behold, I am God; and I am a God of miracles."


Dear Friends,


How can I thank you? In just one moment of accident this past January, my entire life shifted, and the pains, sorrows, heartaches, terrors, and losses I never knew existed became my own. Since the evening I sustained a traumatic brain injury after falling from a ballroom flip lift, I’ve struggled constantly in my lowest moments, often wondering if hope still does exist for me, and if all the dreams, desires, visions, and cares I thrived for my entire life are lost in my destruction. However, it was in one of my darkest periods this past October when I felt bitterly broken, lost in the veil of my injury, detached from the world around me, and dropped to my knees in exhaustion, when God had a miracle planned for me--a parting of the Red Sea--just around the corner to give me the renewal of strength and hope I desperately needed in a time where I couldn't bear my burden any longer.


This miracle, and every miracle I've encountered in my torturing tribulation, is what brings me here today to introduce you to Caspian: my new bernedoodle service companion in training. He is a sign that God still parts Red Seas and miracles are infinitely real, even in the hardest moments! Caspian's story is a testament of Zion's beloved serviceable people coming together to consecrate their prayers, funds, care, love, time, and talents, to bring forth a miracle to a struggling girl, of which miracle one might call impossible if it weren't for the Lord.


This post is a tribute to all those who found me in prayer, in thought, in love, in donation, in service, & in more throughout my journey of brain injury, yesterday, today, and forever, and to all those who have showed me that the Lord still has a giant plan and hope for me, even in my deepest, darkest trial. This is my thanks to you for being a part of our story to find my sweet boy, Caspian.


*excerpts taken from previous post, Miracle in Need of Your Help

 

It was in late September when God sent me a dream. In a state of daily panic attacks, PTSD, anxiety disorder, depression, headaches, chronic fatigue, nausea, seizures, brain fog, constant night terrors, and more, this start of the coming miracle alone was something dearly significant and brought my spirit such rare peace in my brokenness. For two consecutive nights in a row, I dreamt of a big, scruffy dog standing beside me in a presence so warm and loyal, always supporting and caring for me in the most terrifying and delightful of moments. Wherever I went, the shaggy boy followed, and whatever I encountered, he was there to encounter it with me. This dog was mine, and he was something so dear to me, that when the dream ended in the morning, all I could do was cry with tears puddling on my pillow, missing the presence of the dog I loved and needed with all my heart in such an eloquent vision. He was my royal prize, and deep in my spirit, I yearned to believe that this heaven-sent dream might be a beloved prophecy of my future.


For weeks on end, I concealed this dream secretly in my heart, both hoping it might be real someday, yet reluctantly trying to protect my sensitive heart from cracking again. It continued to frolic and dance in my mind through the darkest moments of my day, as if it were a flicker of warm, bright candlelight in the coldest of winters. Each day, I tried my best to cling to my faith and stretch my soul to find the hope of that miracle dog, but with a brain so broken, and a mind so lost, sometimes that wish of faith and courage is hard to keep. My eyes crawled all over the internet for possible rescue shelters, service dog trainers, career-change service dogs, breeders, service dog testimonials, and more, clinging to what muster of faith I could to make myself believe that this was meant to be. But alas, when I finally came to a realization that a service dog costs around $15,000-$50,000 and the waiting time can reach to around two years, my heart shattered and the hope in this God-sent desire was broken, as most of my desires do in this injury. How I wept! I realized in my sobs that the only chance of getting a service dog at all was if the Lord took it in His hands, as most cases of faith and timing intend. Yet, even with that knowledge, at this present moment you must imagine how after all that hard work—after that great endeavor of searching and digging and opening my weary heart and fatigued mind for encouragement and hope in the eye of the dreams I’d been given—my tender heart was broken. I had believed in this beautiful dream, but here I was, feeling as if I were left abandoned in the middle of the hope with no path to the ending. What I thought I knew, now became a doubt of uncertainty, and I wondered if my dreams were plainly a one-time offer of comfort, rather than a foreshadow of a magnificent future memory. While in the moment of frustration, tears, and despair, I remembered a quote from one of my great exemplars, Jeffery R Holland, who encouraged, “Believe in miracles. I have seen so many of them come when every other indication would say that hope was lost. Hope is never lost.” That moment, I poured out my heart to my Father as I’ve done endless times in this trialing year of recovery, and throughout my entire lifetime, and I pleaded with Him that if this dear, genuine dream was real, that if it was the pathway and piece towards my healing, he’d need to lay the pieces for this puzzle I could not lay on my own now. He would have to part this Red Sea, which I trusted might be the next endeavor to bring me a little closer to losing my fears, a little closer to finding my hope again, and a little closer to rebuilding the roots and fruits of my orchestrated life and potential. As I wept, my Lord was listening to the broken and weak throngs of my heart and all He required was a little bit more patience before He would open the door to the miracle dog I thought was lost, but would be mine.


The next morning, as I was drafting a letter to my missionary best friend in the lavender aroma of my room, my mom walked through the doorway and around to my desk to speak with me. I immediately knew from her look of overwhelming reverence that this was significant, so I quickly finished the sentence I was writing and turned to listen to her. As soon as she started speaking, something so overwhelmingly familiar and comforting rushed in tingles over my skin and filled my mind with the most endearing thoughts. She explained that early that morning, my dad had received an email from one of our church friends, whose passion for hiking and service inspired him to put together a Hike-a-Thon Fundraiser for me, in hopes to raise $50,000 for my medical care and other expenses that have since followed my initial accident. My mom and I started shedding tears of joy as we shared in this exquisite miracle, immensely dry of words that would be complete enough to fill the embrace of such love and intervention from, not only our friend, but from the Lord we thought had forgotten us. This moment assured me of everything I’d been doubting about myself and my worthiness in my Father’s eyes, and of the unconditional, infinite love God had for me in this time of my great suffering. He knew me, and He loved me more than I could ever imagine, even as I felt too broken. Even more to my amazement was the thought that after we’d assumed there was no possible way to get me a service dog just the day before, this email came and opened the door to the secure possibility of affording, training, and owning a certified psychiatric service dog to be a great part of my recovery from post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, panic disorder, isolation, and more . Truly, this was a miracle that I would never take for granted—one that balmed a great shatter of my aching heart and renewed the sweet savor of hope in my spirit. The Heavens are never more available to us than they are when we have the intent to pray, wait, trust, keep going, and keep hoping that what we believe is from God really is, and really can be! One thing is for sure, God always fulfills His promises to the faithful and will grant what it is we ask in faith.


The Lord knew the deepest, most detailed cares, dreams, fears, doubts, and desires of my heart that no one else knew, and He loved me enough to orchestrate an army of celestial warriors and angels on earth to bring forth a gift from heaven for me in my uncharted depths of trembling pain and suffering. Surely, He was reminding me through you, His army of faithful, serviceable warriors, of the prophecy made by the prophet Elisha in the bible, that "they that be with us are more than they that be with them" (2 Kings 6:16-17 KJV).


In the darkest of my trial and the burden of disability, the Lord was fighting for me, stretching his hand out to his struggling daughter in the way of an affectionate dog. Fear not, was God's request as the days continued to etch closer to the Hike-A-Thon. And so we obeyed. For weeks, my mom and I were earnest in our research to find the right plan in thought of this coming service dog, both "led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which we should do" (1 Nephi 4:6). My dream was a pivotal part in guiding and directing us towards the right conclusions. I'd recognize pictures of bernedoodles as the scruffy dog in my dream, and it would slowly guide us in the direction we were meant to go. My mom and I researched constantly, day and night, sending each other links and pages of information as we stepped closer towards finding my pup. In the days of my extreme suffering, this cause was bright and I had hope that this prophecy would be mine. Inch by inch, the scar of my heart was beginning to be mended, and the gaping hole in my spirit was being sown. My parents recognized how I was smiling again, giggling again, and dreaming again, and for all of us, that alone was a great miracle, when just days before, my pain and sorrow was of hell, and all I wanted was to part from my miserable body. At last, there was a light of hope reaching down from the heavens to me and even though I still had my limp, still felt my pain, still struggled in terror and lingering depression, in the light of heaven's gift, I was able to dance a moment again, and awe, how sweet it felt! This dream was coming to pass, because of you, the Lord's army of angelic warriors.

On October thirteenth, when the trees were just beginning to part with their leaves and the fall chills began to gust in sweeping over the Oregon hills, my mom and I considered all morning on the thought of putting down a deposit for a seven month bernedoodle pup, Bernie, in Idaho, who we'd met through FaceTime just days earlier with his breeder and had since been following in his final week of basic training. He'd been on our minds for days and in the worry of losing him, we were feeling the urge to sign the sheets and save him for me. Bernie looked like such a sweet boy, responsible, loyal, trainable, and calm, and he was bred from a line of many successful service dogs, but there was a peculiar slit in our hearts that brought hesitation towards going through with the deposit that Thursday morning. And the biggest uncertainty for us was knowing he was still a puppy, something none of us were preparing for in my circumstances and my mom's as well, as my caretaker, and carrying a growing baby in her belly. Nevertheless, my mom reached out to the owner at ten o'clock, requesting the deposit papers. Our hasty jitters had led us to Bernie, but the Lord only used Bernie for the meanwhile, until my dream dog was ready. Right when mom sent the text, her phone started ringing. She answered with reluctance, only to realize it was the breeder we'd first contacted after finding her breeding website online with a great swell in our hearts. She lived on a farm in Washington where she raised her bernedoodle/bernouvier pups, many successful service dogs, and in a transition between careers, she listed all her dogs to sell online so she could pursue a career to bless and heal those who needed help to let go of their burdens and losses. The first moment my eyes swept on the pictures of her dogs, I knew mine was in her pack of bernedoodles, ready to join my side. For two weeks, we hadn't heard from the breeder as much as we meddled, but at last, she had called us to intervene in our reluctant decision to hold Bernie, and with excitement bubbling over in my heart to hear the news, I exclaimed that this was an intervention from heaven, leading us back to where we initially needed to go, and I told my mom I was going to drive up to Washington and find my dog tomorrow. This was God's plan for me, and I believed the struggle of the 5 hour drive to Spokane and back would be eternally worth it, even if it might take days to recover. Right there and then, with an exhilarating joy and anticipation in our hearts, we booked a visit for the next day and the breeder was exhilarated with our full purpose of heart!


Only the Lord knew that while Myles was hiking, and you were praying, Caspian was ready to be found....



 

The day I brought home my Caspian was one I'll never forget. Through the gate where my mom, brother, and I met and spent time with the black, scruffy dogs was one of the most magical moments I've had this entire year. It was like a royal prize in my tribulation to be able to love and be loved by so many affectionate doodles, with such big hearts. I was laughing, smiling, daydreaming, and I did it all over again with each and every dog I met, getting to know each of them and considering if they'd meet the match of my dream companion I had in heart all these weeks. Ah! I was here with my most favorite animal, getting licked and tackled, and sniffed in every direction and with all the dust in my hair, dirt in my mouth, and dogs pawing at my nose, I was living a dream only the Lord could have orchestrated for me. This moment was a gift, and this moment was unforgettable, only possible and beloved because of you: my army of serviceable warriors who've consecrated, and still are consecrating so much to a struggling girl in her most daunting trial of physical, mental, and emotional torture. In this moment as I laid on the dirt surrounded by these beautiful creatures, all of my pain went away for a moment, and the bonds that hold me trapped every day released.


Caspian had never come up to anyone as warmly and quickly as he came up to me, his breeder, Crystal, said with astonishment as I snuggled my nose into his fur. He reminded my mom and I of a lion, so regal, intelligent, loyal, and proud in the same way he was unconditionally affectionate, sweet, huggable, darling, and gentle. Crystal said he was meant for one, and great of all, meant for me. Her spiritual heart connected to heaven that morning and told her Caspian was going to find his home with me that day, ready and prepared to live and thrive as my best friend and companion through so many years of my life, accompanying me by my side at all times and in all places, willing to walk with me in hope and courage through every struggle in my healing journey, assisting me with his loveable affection into my future, as I learned to find the new me and share my story with the world, walking with Christ in every footstep. Caspian was his name, and Caspian was what I wanted to keep, for I believed the name described him best and was gifted from heaven itself, just as he himself had been gifted to me. He was exactly one year-old and four days. And oh! what he has done for me in just one day, one week, one month, is indescribable for all of us. He is my pride and my angel, my miracle and parting of the Red Sea in my trial.


My dear friend, you were a part of this story! You consecrated your sincere devotion of compassion, care, service, prayer, love, and humility to a struggling daughter of God who needed new hope and love more than anything. How can I thank you? Through your most serviceable consecration, God parted my Red Sea and sent me my angel companion Caspian–the most beloved, affectionate, loving, huggable, intelligent, loyal, gentle Bernedoodle who loves me unconditionally day by day, filling my painful world with purpose, comfort, love, and light. Because of you, heaven is beside me every day in the sparkling gaze of Caspian’s eyes when I’m yearning for courage, his assuring paws on my shoulder when I feel to give up, and in the damp kiss of his tongue on my tear-stained cheeks when the pain of my heartbreaks are too painful to bear. Caspian is my angel, filling my life with new purpose and reminding me that I am not abandoned, God still parts Red Seas, and in the midst of my losses and grieving, there is always hope.  How can I thank you enough for the gift you have given me? Alone I can't, but I know the Lord will.


I am praying for each of you as you warrior through your own significant pains and trials, embracing the miracles, and holding on to heaven’s rays of hope.



In Christ alone our hope is found. God still parts Red Seas, bringing forth miracles we never thought imaginable. May Jesus' light and miracles bless your world this Christmas season. And again, thank you for everything!


From my heart to yours,

Makenzie + Caspian <3


TO LEARN MORE ABOUT PSYCHIATRIC SERVICE DOGS & WHAT THEY DO - {click here}


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3 Comments


David Brighton
David Brighton
Jan 03, 2024

What an amazing dream and the good people in place the Lord used to bring about this miracle. The Brighton family is praying for you everyday that you can use the talents Heavenly Father has give you. Thank you for sharing your testimony of the Savior even in those dark moments.

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Lisa Robison
Lisa Robison
Dec 16, 2023

Sweet Makenzie, thank you so much for the beautiful card. Cassias is a miracle, as are you! God is good always and I continually pray for you!

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Lisa Robison
Lisa Robison
Dec 16, 2023
Replying to

*Caspian!!

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