I am sorry I haven’t written in so long and how my heart is torn because of it! Since my traumatic brain injury on January 19th, most of my life and everything I ever knew and did and adored within it has very plainly been demolished bit by bit and I cannot describe how much it hurts to realize that. I look back on the girl I was just a year ago, driving alone in my small Honda, primping through my dresser mirror as I curled my hair in the morning, dancing in the kitchen before stake dances, checking out at the store with my own wallet, and fleetingly facing the dreams of my future with a naive heart, and my eyes fill with tears as I face myself in the mirror now, not really recognizing the injured girl in the reflection, and ultimately feeling so broken with my eyes opened so wide to the pains and tormenting reality that this mortal life has brought me each and every day these past five months. The Lord truly sees something in me I don't see in myself to refine me in this excruciating and tormenting trial, where getting by without entire destruction is a miracle each day. But despite my broken heart, I hold to the flickering flame of faith and hope still residing in my spirit, and I move forward and face each day, not knowing at all what is next--not prepared for what I might face tomorrow. Even unsure if I’ll ever make it by.
Today is my seventeenth birthday. There is so much that confronts me today, intermixed with those thoughts and feelings of happiness, gratitude, despair, joy, and fear, but deep inside in the crevice of my heart I am severely thankful to the Lord for saving my life this year -- to know that I survived and am alive to continue my life and chase my dreams. I am a survivor at seventeen because of my Jesus and while I may feel lost in my mind for a time, that truth forces me on. It changes everything and makes this birthday more profound than any other.
My greatest wish today is to inspire and to know that no matter how broken I feel, or how injured I have become, my soul's flickering flame of faith and devotion to the Lord I so infinitely and entirely love and adore even now is still glowing on these posts and will heal the broken hearts of others. So, I invite you today, to honor what life I and you have been given, to read over my previous blog posts again and find the strength and answer and hope that Christ alone has planted in my mind, passed through my heart, over my fingertips, and onto this blog to inspire and ultimately heal and lift the Savior's broken and devoted people so that we may all RISE up out of this fallen world and become the best versions of ourselves only He can see and transform. These words are what sustain my hope and force me on through every challenge, because they are the words of my soul and heart, and the Makenzie I am even during injury and pain. They are written for my Lord, and that is my greatest cause.
The struggle is real, and the pains and heartbreaks and bitterest agonies of this world are so so trialing and heavy to bear-- I am currently living mine and it is never easy and never delightful to carry -- but the Lord is with us, and He trusts us, and He will hold our hand and let us lean and sob and tremble on His shoulder as He carries us through, to bring us new life, new purpose, and a future greater than we could ever imagined.
I am seventeen today. I am a survivor only by and through Christ. And though it is very hard to believe, there is an incredible future ahead of me and I am just beginning my journey with Him.
Thank you for all you've done. In this hardest time of my life, I am blessed and inspired by you and I hope today I can give you my heart in these posts. Open them. Read them. And find that which you need to bound your soul forward into the excellent thrusts of celestial eternity! And ultimately, embrace the story your Jesus is writing for you. The Lord is building our rise up stories -- we are only at the beginning!! Keep going and never give up no matter how much it hurts and how scary it seems ahead of you. You can do this, I believe in you! Keep the Lord in your heart and love Him with all your might. He is the one we must fight for and live for to the end of our days. He has made us survivors.
I promise you, you are not alone. Jesus is with us every step of the way. And through His infinite, gracious, and ever giving atonement, we can overcome this fallen world. Today is the day to thrive no matter what comes! Cling to that dream even if it’s the only one you have left.
"Perhaps you were born for such a time as this."
And as broken and scared and injured as I am, I believe it!
xo.
Makenzie
Thank you for rising up and blessing me with your faith and testimony Makenzie. You have inspired me to turn to the light of the world, Jesus Christ, to rise up in the midst of my difficulties. God bless you!
Oh Makenzie—you have been in my personal prayers, my families prayers, our YW prayers. We’ve struggled to know how to reach out and respect that you need rest and quiet. And here you are in a fleeting moment of reprieve testifying of Christ. You are an inspiration. We love you.
Makenzie, you have a beautiful soul. God has already done a great work through you and I know that He will continue to. Your faith and hope inspire me.
So much wisdom at such a young age. Thank you for these powerful words of encouragement. I pray that I find the same undying love, passion and devotion that you have for our savior.
Thanks, Makenzie! You gave me courage right when I needed it when I read this post. Sending you so much gratitude and love. ♥️ You are a rare and remarkable little woman!!