Writing this post on our living room sofa, I can still feel the rush of tingles rippling down my spine and the cringing thud of shock in my stomach as I had felt in response to those same awful words I've heard few times. Words that ran over and over again in my mind until I had to break free from my memory and pray aloud to let them disappear vaguely behind new thoughts. Words ghastly enough to let your hands tremble until they're sore, and your eyes sway with salty tears until they sting of being wiped too many times. They are the words I wish I could forget there and then, here and now, but for some reason they often return, and so does that disdaining feeling I wish I could simply push away.
In simple words, enough to keep your soul still jovial, they tell me of a friend, another a stranger, "He's gone, he is no more. Just last week, he exited this room of mortality with the use of his very own hand." It's then, I shudder and inside I cry. My soul feels blank, and all I can do is ask God for comfort. The first time, those words claimed one of my childhood friends. He's gone, they echoed for days, where brief memories once frolicked. Over and over again they echo. At last, I couldn't stand it and alone in the darkness one night, I sobbed myself to sleep.
"Why God?" we cry so many times in our lives. At this moment, the very inquiry came from my own trembling lips as I wondered why anyone would take their own life. My mind wails with questions, my face is crinkled with despair. I yearn for an answer, struggle for a mollifying dream. By and by, so still and silent, yet so piercing and direct, is the Lord's voice into my weary soul. Finally, I almost feel his hand embrace my shoulder before it brushes the strands of my hair away from my sticky cheeks and fogged lashes so I can see anew the light that beams in the darkness---the answer that penetrates my heart after I've been wearied by the constant echoes of my friend's departure.
"They didn't listen to my voice," I hear the Lord whisper--the lovely voice I wish they knew.
My mom shared an empowering video with me a few months ago and from the moment I pressed play, I was reassured and reminded of the importance of listening to the Lord's ever-guiding voice, which nudges us to action each and every day, whether we recognize it or not. It's a voice that guides us, leads us, saves us. There is never a day where it isn't there guiding us through our lives, nudging us forth to behold the glorious crevices of our lives. However, the majority choose not to listen. And before we know it, we lose control and instead of heeding the one, we hearken to other voices, losing ourselves in the depths of a storm. Swiftly, hastily, we crash and burn. Before we know it, we've self-destructed.
President Russell M. Nelson's words have been quoted repetitively in General Conference for over 3 years now. "In coming days, it will not be possible to survive spiritually without the guiding, directing, comforting, and constant influence of the Holy Ghost."
Watch this video. Let it move you. Decide right now to listen to God's voice, because without it, you'll neither spiritually nor physically survive.... you'll die in the storm.
I'll never forget that feeling. The gnarly tug of shock in my stomach, and the blank, black pause of my mind as I listen to the ghastly words, "He's gone, he left this room of mortality with the use of his very own hand." How I wish they could have heard that voice! How I wish they could have heeded its constant beckoning, rather than the voices of the storm.
"I watch them crash and burn all the time because they won't listen to my voice. They don't understand I'm the one who can see them even when they can't see me. But they get the voices in their head, and they kill themselves. They self-destruct."
Jesus' voice is the only one you must heed. Let us be those saints who hear and heed it. Open your ears, open your eyes, and open your heart to what He has to tell you. Let His ever-present words lead you through the storm.
"I want you to hear me, I don't want you to look at what's going on outside. I don't want you to pay attention to the storm. Just. My. Voice."
Keep listening, keep clinging to the voice.
We've almost reached the runway.
~Makenzie
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